Hidden Curriculum : No One Cares
You will certainly look at some of your choices and habits during your time on campus and laugh in the future. But, truly, no one cares.
By Xavier Royer — March 9, 2023
Seriously. No one cares. You should care. But other people, particularly your peers, do not care. Care about what? Most things, to be honest. How you're dressed, a question you need to answer in class, taking a nap in the student center, any of it. This is not high school. You are no longer locked in a building with other kids brimming with hormonal insecurity. Everyone has much better things to do with their time than to judge you for whatever it is you're concerned about. You are an adult, on campus with other adults. Young adults, for sure, and you will certainly look at some of your choices and habits during your time on campus and laugh in the future. But, truly, no one cares.
Insecurity and anxiety are annoying at best, and in extreme cases can be terribly debilitating. In that first semester on campus in particular, many first-year nerves come from social conditioning in high schools. High school cultures in the U.S. can be brutal. Secondary school and college are similar in the sense that they are incredibly formative years as responsibility and agency skyrocket. In high schools, students began to categorize and sort themselves into hierarchies and cliques. High school students are obsessed with labels because it makes this sorting process easier. Students are popular or unpopular. Jocks or nerds. Theater or band geeks. High school students have just enough agency and self-expression to create what is often an incredibly toxic social environment. Many students come out of high schools with their guard way up as a survival mechanism.
This article is full of good news. The transition from high school to college represents the peak of that transitionary period. With the move to campus comes another big injection of agency and responsibility, but with some key differences. Not to put too fine a point on it, but high school has a lot of similarities with prison. Both institutions are highly regulated, and everyone is held to the same expectation. While university students are much more accountable for themselves, their agency and freedom explodes. Many students, myself included, find undergrad to actually be easier than high school, because even though the material in class is more dense and the expectations are higher, taking off the restrictions of being a high school student enables them to be far more productive. Because of this, students have better things to do with their time than to care about you. The social temperature on university campuses is far lower than in high schools. Most people have 1001 other things to prioritize than what you are wearing or what hobbies you are into. In fact, because of the shared experience of powering through midterms and finals together, college students tend to look at their peers with kindness and a sense of community.
There are some exceptions, and basic etiquette and social expectations do exist. If you are dressed outlandishly (the threshold for this is still quite high; think theater costume as opposed to counterculture) or are being disruptive, people might start to care. If you are listening to music incredibly loudly, expect to get some deserved grumpy looks. There may be some unwritten rules specific to individual campuses to learn as well. For example, the limited amount of washer and dryers in my residence hall lead to some pretty vicious laundry altercations. If laundry was left in a washing machine for too long, you could expect your wet clothes to be piled on the floor while someone else used the machine. In all of these situations, however, you are actively impeding their ability to go about their day. So long as you understand campus etiquette and are generally polite to those around you, you can live on campus judgment free.
What if you make a mistake and do something truly embarrassing? This happens, but thankfully this is not the death sentence it can be in high school. Where high school students may get labels and mean nicknames after a moment of clumsiness or thoughtlessness, college students usually forget the situation within the hour; remember, everyone has bigger priorities. In the moment, I find humor can usually break the tension. If there is a tasteful joke to be made, go for it. Most of your peers may chuckle but won't hold it against you. In fact, handling those embarrassing moments with grace can be a good way to make new friends.
Finally, no one caring works both ways. If you are used to having to be performative to get attention and make a reputation for yourself, ditch that immediately. Relax, and be your genuine self. Sometimes it comes up in conversation naturally, but never goes out of your way to mention your GPA, high school sports career, or other random accolades that used to earn you social capital in high school. And NEVER, EVER talk about your SAT or ACT scores; those stopped being relevant at all the day you registered for classes. Ironically, the one personality trait that tends to get students ostracized is boastfulness. College students will interpret this as immaturity, and no one has time for that. So, relax. No one is looking at you, and that is a good thing.
Xavier Royer
I am currently a full time instructor at a William Penn University, a small private university in Iowa. I am the lone political science faculty member there. In my time teaching, I have already connected with an incredible cohort of students in ways I could never have expected. Partnering with SAGE will allow me the opportunity to help even more students across the globe navigate those tricky questions.
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