"I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me!"
As the semester wraps up for the holidays, many college students head home to celebrate the holidays with family and friends. It is a nice break away from campus and the opportunity to spend quality time with loved ones. You pack your bag, say goodbye to friends, and take a few weeks away from college.
However, some students may find themselves in the awkward and frustrating position of not being able to go home for the holidays. Some students opt to stay on campus due to jobs, J-term, having abusive families, or simply being unable to afford traveling in the middle of the year (because, let's face it, plane tickets are expensive in December, and driving in the winter isn't always feasible).
While you may have come to terms with the reality of not seeing your family and friends, it can still be a deeply frustrating and isolating experience. It's normal to feel disenchanted about holidays like Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. While those feelings are normal and expected, it's essential to find coping strategies to make the most of the season.While you may have come to terms with the reality of not seeing your family and friends, it can still be a deeply frustrating and isolating experience. It's normal to feel disenchanted about holidays like Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. While those feelings are normal and expected, it's essential to find coping strategies to make the most of the season.
Make the Most of Technology
Fortunately, we live in a digital age, so friends and family are only a click away. Before the holidays, schedule phone calls or a virtual meeting so that you can connect with your loved ones on holiday. If someone is hosting a party or a dinner, you could join in by preparing your dinner or connecting after the meal to virtually sing songs, tell funny stories from the past, and stay in touch. If the holiday doesn't work out, you can connect sometime before or after.
Often people think that connecting with others is limited to phone calls or video conferencing. However, if you are creative, there are many other ways you can connect with your friends and family!
If you plan enough, you could create a fun video or well-crafted email to share. It could be serious or goofy, straightforward or complex as you would like. If you use Snapchat, Instagram, or Facebook, you could create stories to highlight things you are up to and see what others are going.
Volunteer
Although feeling sorry for yourself during the holidays is easy, many others have things much worse. Many organizations will give back to those in need through various community events. Instead of spending the day home alone, you could go and help serve a community meal, drop off presents for the homeless, and visit the sick and elderly at a local hospital or nursing home.
Opportunities will vary by your location, but the only limit is your imagination! If you cannot find something nearby, consider donating to your community by starting your volunteer program. You can reach out to see if you can visit a local hospital, bake cookies to give out to people, drop off food at food pantries, or make holiday cards for the military and sick children.
Be Your Own Host
You probably aren't the only one who will be alone for the holidays. As the saying goes, misery loves company. While you may need more confidence in your cooking capabilities or don't have a large place to host, you can always reach out to others for help. Someone spending the holiday alone would be willing to help make something work out!
Take Some 'Me' Time
The holidays are the perfect opportunity to sit back, relax, and do nothing. Normally you may feel guilty bingeing a Netflix series, napping past noon, or playing video games all day, but the holidays are your chance to unwind! There is no rule to say that dictates what you must do on the holidays. If you can't find anything to do or if you don't want to do anything, there is no shame in spending the day doing what you want to do.
If you feel compelled to complete a huge project or clean your place, you can go for it! Just as long as you find things that enrich your quality of life and make you feel better, there is no wrong answer.
Acknowledge the Hurt
Sometimes we think we always have to be happy with our situation, but that isn't the case. It stinks not having turkey on Thanksgiving, not opening presents for Christmas or Hanukah, and not getting your New Year's Eve kiss. You have every reason to feel disappointed and even shed tears about what you miss.
There is a specific kind of grief when missing the holidays, and it is human to feel that way. If you come from an abusive family, you may not like the holidays, so it is okay to feel bad that you don't get to have the same magical experiences as other students. Regardless of your situation, allowing yourself to feel sadness and express it healthily is important.
Don't let your sadness completely ruin your day. Try to find things that will bring you joy and make the holidays "good" even if they aren't always "holly jolly."
