Moving Away for the First Time
I was nervous about moving away from home when I was beginning college. I didn’t know anyone at my university and wasn't sure how to make friends because I only had a few close friends in high school. For the first semester, I felt lonely and insecure. I tried joining some clubs, but it seemed like everyone in the clubs was already friends. On the weekends, I found excuses to see my high school friends and family. One day, my roommate invited me to meet some people she knew from high school who were also attending our college, and I made a small group of friends who accepted me and made college much less lonely. As time passed, I made lifelong friends from different classes and when I studied abroad.
Though my campus was resi dential, I discovered that I valued having more independence from campus. In my third year, I was able to apply to live in a mixed-generation building where students, professors, campus employees, and their families were all neighbors. Instead of eating in the college cafeterias, I could shop for groceries and prepare meals. I liked having more control over my lifestyle and enjoyed meeting neighbors who were my elders or who had children. Even though it wasn't a traditional college community, I felt connected to my campus.
If you're feeling unsure about moving away, here are some helpful tips to ease the transition:
Visit your college counseling office
if you feel like you need some extra support and resources. I experienced anxiety and panic attacks in my first year of college and wanted to move back home. Visiting a counselor helped me check in on myself weekly and see that I wasn't struggling alone. In the decade since graduation, almost all of my friends have said that they also struggled privately at the time. In my second year, when I was abroad for a semester, I could reach out to the counseling office during difficult moments from far away. I came home with new friends and unique experiences. I also felt braver and more confident because I was able to manage my anxiety while abroad.Try to grow your comfort zone in small ways.
This can be through a campus job, taking a new class, joining a club, volunteering off-campus, or attending a campus event. You may be surprised by who you meet and what you learn about yourself! If I hadn't audited a writing class in my third year of college, I wouldn't have learned that my classmates value my writing.Find friendship through empathy.
Sometimes international students and students who live far from college cannot go home during holidays and short breaks. Check and see if there are events on campus during those periods that you can attend. Occasionally, I would invite friends to my family events during the holidays. This was a great way to get to know people in a different setting than campus, to share traditions, and to make new connections.Get off campus and explore.
When I realized I liked more independence from campus, I also learned how big the world is beyond college. You can volunteer somewhere in your college town or city and meet people who don't go to college with you, attend community events, go to the public library or museums, visit a park or coffee shop, or support a local business. There are many ways to engage and find community beyond campus.When you're homesick, do things you love and try to share them with others.
In my last year of college, I took a guitar class even though it had nothing to do with my major. My family has many musicians, and I studied music growing up. It helped bring my family closer to me when I felt homesick.Control what you can.
Controlling cooking for myself and my living situation helped me feel more settled at college. From there, I could grow my comfort zone through volunteering, working, meeting new people, and trying different classes. What can you control while away from home to help you build a foundation for growing more?
Since college, I've moved many times. And while it's still hard to leave a place that feels like home, I've learned to trust that I'll eventually find my way if I focus on growth. Even though it can be difficult, you can do it too!
